Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
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