May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So gin and wine won't be happening again
where are you?
Hypothermia
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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