he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
