he wants to bone in the snuggie
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
