the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
