I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am available for nakedness
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
