You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
