You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize