The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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