and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize