In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
