Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
