it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
