I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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