Pappa wants mamma naked
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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