Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Bring me that man meat
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
