and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
