dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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