You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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