why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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