Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
