Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize