You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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