don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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