i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
