if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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