I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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