this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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