just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
