i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
