well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
