I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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