First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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