you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am midnight drunk by noon
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i out mim tonsoeep
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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