the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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