Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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