Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
