I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
