So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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