I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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