The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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