I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
