I just made out with a guy for $7.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize