Need sex. Gaining weight.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
