omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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