I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
