Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
