addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
