I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize