Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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