i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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