My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
