make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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