...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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