it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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