is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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