How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance