the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's not a walk of shame if you run