Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
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I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila