so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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